


Glow in the Dark Stars

by killingaesthetic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, No Smut, Phan Comfort, Phanfiction, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 06:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6362647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killingaesthetic/pseuds/killingaesthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More happened than Dan and Phil expected that night, under the glow in the dark stars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glow in the Dark Stars

The snow fell down on the London streets, in an impossibly fast fury, unlike the poetic softness often described as someone gently sprinkling sugar on top of the land. Instead, it was more like someone had dropped or lost control of a saltshaker when trying to lightly season their dinner. I wished that was the case, because a ginormous saltshaker falling out of the sky and crushing me to a pulp would surely put me out of my misery.

I was miserable for many reasons, but at the moment the most prominent one was the fact that the heater was broken, and my flatmate, who’s Phil Lester, and I couldn’t get it fixed until tomorrow. I was bundled in layers of shirts and wrapped tightly in my duvet, yet the cold still settled deep in my bones. I tried tumblr to distract myself from the weather, but I stumbled upon a particular photo that felt even worse than the chill.

The photo was of Phil and I, the first one we had ever taken together. I remember clearly what happened afterwards. We teased each other for being massive nerds, but suddenly the air around them grew chokingly thick with passion. Phil leaned in, and I closed the gap. The instant our lips touched, I felt a cliche that I believed only happened in movies; it felt like fireworks. The electricity of the moment made me dizzy, and only the adrenaline of the moment and the lust for the black haired boy kept me upright. The kiss was slow and tender, and filled with something I never thought I deserved enough to get, love. And when we pulled away, we were both smiling brightly, our cheeks tinted cherry red. That was our first kiss.

Now, well, things were different. Our loves bursted up instantly, and the only thing that held us together were thin strings. If you’re running in the opposite direction, those tend to snap apart. We still lived in the same apartment, and he was probably doing the exact same thing as I was now. Maybe he even ran across the same picture, and was thinking the same thoughts. I doubted it. The strings broke, but I still held on tightly to their frayed ends. I don’t think Phil was left with any proof the strings existed, besides the imprints that they left deep in his heart.

That’s when I realized something I had been hiding from himself.

I think I wanted Phil back.

I felt my eyes glaze over. But I forced the tears in, because I couldn’t be crying over a guy the connection had been lost years ago. I thought was a strong person, and to have the desire to cry was an insult shot directly at myself. I couldn’t care for Phil, not this much at least. He was my friend, but I didn’t love him. I, Daniel James Howell couldn’t love Phillip Micheal Lester anymore, because Phil didn’t love me. 

I was about to break down despite my best interests, when a faint knock was heard on my door. Three times. Very light. I knew immediately it was Phil. He had confided with me early on in our relationship that three was his lucky number. I didn’t know why he didn’t tell anyone else as I didn’t see as particular important information, but it was his secret and I kept it close no matter how upset or angry I was with Phil. The knock was faint because Phil had often complained of the hardness of the wood hurting his knuckles. I simply told him to shut up or knock softer, and he had obviously chosen the latter. I knew exactly who was behind that door, but I didn’t want to seem like I did. I figured that Phil hadn’t bothered to retain any bits of information stuck in his mind about me, so he had to at least pretend I didn’t either.

“Phil?” I asked is a confused tone, thanks to his history as an actor.

“That’s my name,” His roommate laughed awkwardly from the other side of the door.

“Oh, well come in then,” I invited. 

The door swung open, revealing Phil. He was wearing nothing but lose sweatpant that barely hung from his prominent hips, and his green and blue checkered bedspread draped across his shoulders like a cape. I thought I was over Phil’s body, especially his chest, but I most definitely wasn’t. Everything about Phil was dramatic. Every line and angle was sharp, and every curve was defined. His stomach was firm, although he had a lack of abs. His sparse chest hair was a deep shade of black, and it looks like an ink splatter across the white surface. 

His body was beautiful, but so was his face. His ebony dyed hair was pushed back with a single strand of hair hanging across his forehead. His eyes, which I had long ago decided were not blue, but rather multiple colors didn’t shine as they used to, but they had this sort of faraway look that told people that he might be physically present, but his mind was worlds away. The look gave him a boyish kind of charm, and combined with the makeshift cape he wearing he could play the part of Robin Hood.

I loved the way Phil’s mouth looked before he talked. His lips hesitantly spread apart, his mind mulling over the words he was about to say before he fully stretched them open and spoke. I loved how concentrated his eyes looked, as if he were trying to make every word sound perfect. 

“It’s so flipping cold, isn’t it!” Phil exclaimed.

“Indeed,” I agreed.

“So I was thinking that’s it’s way too cold in separate rooms and we need to start combining our efforts,” He tried to articulate his thoughts.

“What exactly do you mean?” I asked.

“If we’re close together our body heat will provide each other warmth and I brought another duvet and your room is smaller so maybe it would trap more heat,” He continued.

“So basically you want us to cuddle?” I confirmed.

Phil nodded, looking down at the floor.

Why did it have to be so awkward?

“Okay, got it,” Dan said.

He pulled open his swathing of blanket to give his friend a space to climb into.

“If you took off your tops we could more easily share body heat,” Phil suggested, trying to hide the tint of red on his cheeks from me, but was unsuccessful.

“I can do that,” I mumbled.

I fumbled with his the multiple layers of shirts, because my hands were shaking and weak. Why did the thought of us cuddling shirtless make my heart palpitate and my hands so weak? We just needed warmth, that’s all.

Compared to Phil’s, I thought my chest was ugly. The lines were so soft it looked like wax melted together. My chest was extremely pale, but it didn’t look dramatic or beautiful. It looked sickly. I wasn’t flat chested, either. I had a small pudge of a stomach that looked terrible when I wore tight fitting shirts. 

Now that my shirts were abandoned, I held open my duvet again for Phil.

“Hurry up, it’s cold as fuck!” I cursed.

“Wait! Can I play some music?” He asked permission.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead,” I agreed, slightly reluctantly.

He rushed out of the room, but he was back in an instant. He was carrying his caseless iPhone, which was downright foolish of him because of how accident prone he was, and a hot pink bluetooth speaker.

I bought the speaker for him when he was complaining about how crappy his audio was. It was a valid complaint, because indeed it was barely loud enough and the sound was raspy. But then again, it was his fault he dropped it in the toilet. Still, I bought it for him. It worked surprisingly well, and we managed to turn it up so loud that our upstairs neighbors complained of the noise. He had gotten a new phone since then and I was surprised to see him still using it, but I suppose the volume is superior to any phone whether it had been dropped in a toilet or not.

He placed the speaker onto my bedside table, and I opened a gap in my blanket casing. He crawled in. The warmth of the skin to skin contact immediately shocked me, I forgot how warm Phil was, since his appearance looks so cold. I guess I’ve forgotten a lot of things about Phil. 

“I love your ceiling, by the way,”

I looked up with him. When we first moved here, I was afraid of the darkness creeping up slowly in my room. Especially in such a huge and menacing city as London. Phil usually cuddled me to keep me safe, but for when he was away, he bought a pack of glow in the dark stars and stuck them to my ceiling. I wasn’t as afraid anymore, but a big part of that was those stars. They weren't particularly expensive, nor are they a quality product. But the symbolism of them was what was important to me. It felt like Phil was in my room, his naked body pressing against mine, my head buried into his tender chest.

“Well, you put them up there,” I replied.

He made an inarticulate sound of agreement, then started blasting his music. I quickly noticed the electric guitar and hard drum beats to be my favorite teenage band, My Chemical Romance.

“Really? My Chemical Romance? Still in your emo phase?” I joked.

“Talking to the guy who still wears all black,” He rolled his eyes.

Despite us making fun of eachother for being emo, we were soon both singing along to the fast paced lyrics.

Phil looked over to my laptop screen. That’s when I noticed I still hadn’t scrolled down from that photo of us.

“That’s the first one we ever took, right?” He asked.

Maybe he remembered more than I gave him credit for.

“Yep,” I nodded.

I knew what we were both thinking about.

I scrolled down, a picture of an anime girl with large, bare breasts was next. I quickly scrolled more, because I knew that neither Phil or I liked breasts much.

We stayed like that for a while, Phil watching as I scrolled through my dash, listening to Phil’s very emo taste in music. We didn’t speak to each other, except for Phil to say something to the effect of ‘reblog that so I can later’. It was still awkward, because no matter how hard we tried, the air of awkwardness was impossible to get rid of. Yet it was less awkward than it had been in a very long time. We both forgot about the fact we were half naked, because we got the warmth we desired. We didn’t run into anymore pictures of us together, so everything was going smoothly. 

About as smoothly as it could. 

That was until a certain song played. We had always called it our song when we were dating, and every time I heard it, I remembered how everything used to be. How we thought that were living in the clouds. How we thought we were unworldly beings with an indestructible love with our love running in each other veins. We were young, and to ever call the song that was playing right now was plain stupid. But again, that’s what we were. 

When your legs don’t work like they used to before...

Why did I still love him?

Phil was to dumbfounded by the fact that the song had the effrontery to play at a time like this, he couldn’t move his hands to skip it. We were looking in opposite directions, because it was so awkward for our eyes to be near each other. There was more tension in air then I had ever felt, even when we first broke up.

I couldn’t let the air stay this awkward. I needed to say something, anything, to make this stop. I couldn’t be sitting next to the boy that used to love me feeling like this. Because I loved him. I loved Phil. So, I said the first thing that came into my head.

“I miss when we were dating,” I stated.

For an instant, I regretted those words.

But then his head turned towards me, and I turned towards him. His eyes were glazed over, and he let a single tear drop spill out. It ran down his cheek, then dropped onto the duvet covering us.

“Me too,” He whispered.

I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Take me into your loving arms…

I leaned in, and so did he.

Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars..

Our lips collided, exploding into fireworks of passion. Fireworks. I never thought I would feel that again. It felt just like our first kiss, except this time, we knew what me were doing. I don’t know how I didn’t notice, but there was a rope tied around our hearts. I just didn’t want to see it. All I wanted to see were feeble threads. I wrapped my arms around his warm body, and needily kissed him. Harder. Faster. I loved him, and he loved me. It was dumb to ever think he didn’t. We were in love, and we would be until the day we died. Maybe it wasn’t so stupid to crown this song as ours, because even if we weren't together, our hearts weren't far apart.

We pulled away breathlessly. I looked into his eyes. I saw the stars starting to return to them.

“I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed you,” He whispered, barely audible over the music.

“Me either,” I agreed.

We found love right where we are…

We did. Here, in my room, under the glow in the dark stars.


End file.
